It’s fine, I’m fine, Everything is fine!

Why hello there, long time no see! I startred this blog probably over 10 years ago and well life happened. I've always been a writer and have felt led to statt sharing more of my journey parenting kids who are nearing adulthood. There are lots of blogs about raising young children but I think as the kids get older, we tend to stop asking for help and advice. Quite honestly, I feel like I need my village more than ever now. You spend 18 years of your life tired. Fall on the bed, dead dog tired... too tired to appreciate that one day you will miss all of the chaos. So I find myself at a crossroads in life. Almost gone are my days of sitting in the bleachers cheering on my boys. They don't need me as much on a daily basis but they still need me in a different way. The picture above is the day I dropped off Chase at Tech. It was fine, I was fine, Everything was fine. My heart just hurt. That too passed and my job as a mother is still here. It just has new responsibilities. I wonder if I can get a raise? Probably not, so I'm going to blog my way through this new stage of motherhood..  Feel free to follow along!

A Different Kind of Race...

Well all along I have said I wanted news and news I got. Connie, my wonderful nurse practioner at Dr. Wilson's office, called me yesterday morning on my way to school to let me know that my biopsy came back positive. I have ductal cell carcinoma, in other words, breast cancer. We do not know all of the gory details yet as the final pathology report isn't due back until early next week. My mom spent the better part of the day chasing down my medical records so that we can have everything ready to go when the doctors at MD Anderson come a callin'! I have family in town this weekend so this post will be short and sweet. I have lots to write down but need a few more minutes...

Riding the Roller Coaster

So it's the night before my biopsy and I am so busy I can hardly stand myself. I was once told by a friend that God has a funny way of keeping you busy in stressful times so that your mind doesn't have time to really process all that is going on in your life. I figure that must be true because I feel like I am almost drowning in responsibilties. I can definitely say that these past two weeks have been such a roller coaster of emotions. I have had such highs and lows. It is almost like being nine months pregnant. By the time week 39 rolls around, you are so miserable, the fear of childbirth is gone and you are just ready. I feel the same way. I do not fear any news that comes my way. I just want news! I go in tomorrow for another bilateral ultrasound and for an ultrasound guided biopsy. My mom and Chad are both going with me. I would rather go alone and not make a big deal out of it, but they both feel the need to go with me so I am going to be a good girl and let them go, after all that is my role in the family, the good girl...

It all Started with a Foot in the Ribs

Ok so I ran the half marathon last January and finished two minutes over my goal. Not too bad if I may say so myself! I continued running a bit here and there. I signed up for Katyfit again this year and even convinced my friend Sherry to join. Sherry had done a great job this year losing weight and training hard. I am so proud of her. She is going to smoke me on race day! I have had a harder time staying focused and dedicated. I guess since I know my body can do it, I am less opt to push myself. Never the less, I am up and hitting the trails most Saturday mornings. As I write this, I haven't run in two weeks but plan on making it there this weekend, ugh! However, a wrench has been thrown in my plans and now my focus is being turned to a different race.

Three weeks ago, Colin climbed into bed with us because his leg was hurting. I must make the note that he never gets in our bed (we have a couch in our room). He forced me to the edge of the bed because his feet were in my ribs. Due to the position I was laying in I hand my hands under my breasts and felt a lump. Fast forward three weeks later, a mammogram, an ultrasound and a phone call from the doctor, I am facing the possibility of having breast cancer. I have a small mass in my right breast and two suspicious lymph nodes. I am currently awaiting the radiologist to read my reports so that he can order a biopsy to confirm or deny the diagnosis. It is definitely a lesson in patience. We have made the decision (and I say we because it is literally a team decision, family, friends, doctors, nurses, etc) to go from the local Katy hospital for the biopsy to the breast center at Memorial City. This way all of my doctors have access to my records and I am seen at a place that looks at breasts all day long. That is all they do. So where are we now, you may ask? We are in a holding pattern. It is a roller coaster my friends. One day it is good news, one day it is bad news. I am at peace with any news, I just want news. Besides, I do look good in pink!

Snapfish:Photo:Shared

Snapfish:Photo:Shared

First Official Race

I ran in my first official race this past weekend! Chad and I ran in the Luke's Half marathon. We ran as a relay team. It was so much fun. I am so proud of Chad. He really supported me and was there for me. I ran the first leg and he ran in the finish. I waited for him the last quarter of a mile and we ran it in together. All of my turtle friends were there and so were Nicole and Tywon cheering us on at the finish line. It was a great moment! I felt great after the run. It was only 6.6 miles so I was used to that distance. Chad, on the other hand ,well he's not feeling so hot but since he made such an effort to be there for me I won't give up the juicy details...

Off to See Dr. Scott

Good news and bad news... The good news is I have actually made it 12 miles. It was torture but I made it The bad news is that I hurt myslef somewhere around mile 9. Since then my hip/groin area has been giving me some trouble. I finally decided to bite the bullet and go to see Dr. Scott. I've been getting deep tissue massages and chiropractic adjustments. The adjustments freak me out. I can not stand hearing my own bones crack. I was so bruised after the first massage but I have to say I think they are working. I did not run the 13 miles this past weekend but I think the rest was good for me. I ran tonight and feel good. I am going to take it easy this week and hopefully amke it out on Saturday for the long run. I actually had my first sports related injury. I'm so proud!